We love to chat. On any topic and in any quantity. For example, women like congratulations for the wedding to discuss cool, men willingly talk about cars. But, unfortunately, trusting the secrets of friends, we risk being in a not very pleasant situation. You remember everyday wisdom: if two know the secret, everyone knows him.
Mouth to the castle?
You often open the details of your life without thinking about the consequences, or by inertia, span out other people’s secrets. The main reason for this is the desire to attract attention. Connected by someone else’s secret, you feel your own significance. Share it
— So, reinforce this feeling. Perhaps you are even burdened by someone else’s secret. And how best to throw off your load? That’s right, put it on someone else. While we are talking about minor secrets, everything seems to be normal, and you joyfully inform everyone that your girlfriend Masha, having crossed strawberries, was covered with red spots. But think about whether it will be pleasant to find Masha that only the lazy did not learn about her illness? The same with serious problems. If a person trusts you an important secret, then he sees in you an interlocutor who is able to sympathize and advise. Having made someone else’s secret public public, you betray a friend. Such things are not forgotten and not forgiven. First of all, you will suffer by acquiring a reputation of gossip and empty.
1. It would be unpleasant for you to find out that your innermost thoughts are known to everyone. Try on these emotions and feel them as if you were touched by someone else’s irresponsible chatter.
2. Sooner or later, the injured side will reach exactly who blew her secret. You are ready to sacrifice friendship for the sake of a dubious desire for a couple of minutes to be in the spotlight of focusing gossipers?
3. If someone else’s secret does not allow you to live calmly, remember childhood. Once we buried “secrets” in the ground — candy wrappers under the glass. Tell us about other people’s problems to such a candy wrapper and healing it in the sand. Tacts and free yourself from the cargo of information, and keep mystery into inviolability.
To the first secret
Each of us has the best friend with whom you can share the most secret. But, unfortunately, in most cases it is she who turns out to be a source of information leakage.
1. No matter how close you are to communicate, follow the distance and leave something unanimous. For example, it is not necessary to describe your intimate relationship with a guy in detail in detail.
2. Even the best friends sometimes quarrel. A former friend can use the information that you once told her against you. And then an innocent complaint that your boyfriend does not give you flowers, in her lips will sound like a sentence: “But yours said that you are greedy”.
H. Do not strive to know about her life absolutely everything. First, why do you need a bunch of extra information? And secondly, each of you should have something of your own, personal.
«Open» relations
You started meeting a guy. He, as you think, is a real macho — laconic, courageous and restrained. But after a couple of months it turns out that all your friends know that you are a bunny for him, and he is for you Pusya, and so you call each other, only at the most intimate moments. The question is, how do everyone know the details of your relationship, if you are silent about them as a partisan, and you don’t even keep a diary? Apparently your boyfriend does not know how to keep his mouth shut.
Sensitive
He could not cope with emotions. After all, now he has such a beautiful girl. Of course, the guy is tempting to tell everyone about your relationship. He became interested in his experiences and no longer sees the boundaries — what can be told and what is impossible.
Answer: Not everything is lost yet. Explain to your loved one that your relationship belongs only to you, and no one else. Maybe he needs your attention, he wants to discuss your dates more often. Do not avoid this, tell him, for example, that you still remember how scared to ask for his phone. Having received the opportunity to discuss with you the details of your love, the guy is unlikely to share feelings with friends.
Uncertain
Talking about your dates to friends, he feels on top. He has a girlfriend, he is no worse than others. Take a closer look at him. Maybe you, having fallen in love, could not adequately evaluate the guy? A young man who has problems with communication may well use
Receptions. Now an uncertain guy can prove to everyone that he is worth something. Therefore, the details of your relationship go «to the people».
Answer: You are waiting for a sincere relationship and do not want to be a tool to get rid of complexes? It is unlikely that he will be able to re -educate a man — he will no longer be able to abandon daily “reports”. The guy is afraid to lose the attention of friends and stay alone. The choice is for you: tolerate his weakness and catch the interested views of his friends on himself or stop communication and start meeting with a guy who will value your feelings.
The victim of the habit
Your young man can do this also because he is used to not hiding anything from others and believes that to conceal the details of his personal life from friends somehow not like a man.
Answer: A person in pairs is responsible for his partner. And your communication is not just going to the club and kisses in the cinema. This is also a concern for a loved one. If he lacks an elementary sense of tact to hide the details of your relationship from others, then he does not think about your feelings. Explain to him that a real man cannot be a banal talker. After all, he can talk with his friends on a variety of topics, such as cars and prices, work, leisure, but not about personal relationships. You probably want your boyfriend to be an understanding person.
It is known that not only girls love to gossip. Guys, assuring that they are talking only about cars and studying, curious. Their conversations also spin around the opposite sex
Interesting! In the Middle Ages, they fought with the opponents of other people’s secrets with the help of a «violin of gossipers». The chatterboxes were constrained by one block, apparently that friends could finally talk.
